After some discussion on the Pothos Forum, it was felt it might be useful to include here all the references to Alexander's sexual life - whether with women or men.
No attempt is made here to discuss the various characters, whether their very existence or the nature of their relationship with Alexander.
References compiled by Amyntoros.
Alexander's Sexual Life - General References
Athenaeus, The Deipnosophists 13.603 b-c; Curtius, 6.2.1-2; Curtius, 10.5.26-32; Plutarch, Alexander 4.4; Plutarch, Alexander 22.3; Plutarch, Alexander 23.1; Plutarch, Moralia 623D-E; Plutarch, Moralia 717E–718A.
Written by marcus
Athenaeus
Curtius translated by John YardleyKing Alexander also was madly devoted to boys. Dicaearchus, at any rate, in his book On the Sacrifice at Ilium says d that he was so overcome with love for the eunuch Bagoas that, in full view of the entire theatre, he, bending over, caressed Bagoas fondly, and when the audience clapped and shouted in applause, he, nothing loath, again bent over and kissed him. But Carystius in Historical Notes says " Charon of Chalcis had a beautiful boy who was dear to him. But when Alexander, at a drinking-party in the house of Craterus, praised the boy, Charon bade him kiss Alexander; and Alexander said, ' Not so! For that will not delight me so much as it will pain you.' For, passionate as this king was, he was in like measure self-controlled when it came to the observance of decency and the best form. When, for example, he had taken captive the daughters of Darius and his wife as well, a woman of very distinguished beauty, he not only kept his hands off them, but he even restrained from letting them know that they were captives, and ordered that everything be done for them just as if Darius were still king. 'Wherefore Darius, on learning this, raised his arms and prayed to the Sun that either he or Alexander might be King.
Plutarch - LifeAlexander could cope better with warfare than peace and leisure. As soon as he was free of these worries that beset him, he yielded to dissipation, and the man whom the arms of Persia had failed to crush fell before its vices. There were parties early in the day; drinking and mad revelry throughout the night; games; women by the score. It was a general decline into the ways of the foreigner … Alexander so offended the sensibilities and eyes of his people that most of his friends began to regard him as an enemy.
..it is obvious to anyone who makes a fair assessment of the king that his strengths were attributable to his nature and his weaknesses to fortune or his youth. His natural qualities were as follows …. his kindness towards almost all his friends, goodwill towards the men, … control over immoderate urges; a sex life limited to the fulfilment of natural desire; and indulgence only in pleasures which were socially sanctioned.
But while he was still a boy his self-restraint showed itself in the fact that, although he was impetuous and violent in other matters, the pleasures of the body had little hold upon him, and he indulged in them with great moderation, while his ambition kept his spirit serious and lofty in advance of his years.
But Alexander, as it would seem, considering the mastery of himself a more kingly thing than the conquest of his enemies, neither laid hands upon these women, nor did he know any other before marriage, except Barsiné. This woman, Memnon's widow, was taken prisoner at Damascus. 9 And since she had received a Greek education, and was of an agreeable disposition, and since her father, Artabazus, was son of a king's daughter, Alexander determined (at Parmenio's instigation, as Aristobulus says) to attach himself to a woman of such high birth and beauty. 10 But as for the other captive women, seeing that they were surpassingly stately and beautiful, he merely said jestingly that Persian women were torments to the eyes. And displaying in rivalry with their fair looks the beauty of his own sobriety and self-control, he passed them by as though they were lifeless images for display.
Plutarch - MoraliaMoreover, when Philoxenus, the commander of his forces on the sea-board, wrote that there was with him a certain Theodorus, of Tarentum, who had two boys of surpassing beauty to sell, and enquired whether Alexander would buy them, Alexander was incensed, and cried out many times to his friends, asking them what shameful thing Philoxenus had ever p287 seen in him that he should spend his time in making such disgraceful proposals. 2 And on Philoxenus himself he heaped so much reproach in a letter, bidding him send Theodorus to perdition, merchandize and all. 3 He severely rebuked Hagnon also for writing to him that he wanted to buy Crobylus, whose beauty was famous in Corinth, as a present for him. 4 Furthermore, on learning that Damon and Timotheus, two Macedonian soldiers under Parmenio's command, had ruined the wives of certain mercenaries, he wrote to Parmenio ordering him, in case the men were convicted, to punish them and put them to death as wild beasts born for the destruction of mankind. 5 In this letter he also wrote expressly concerning himself: "As for me, indeed, it will be found not only that I have not seen the wife of Dareius or desired to see her, but that I have not even allowed people to speak to me of her beauty." 6 And he used to say that sleep and sexual intercourse, more than any thing else, made him conscious that he was mortal, implying that both weariness and pleasure arise from one and the same natural weakness.
It is also recorded that Alexander wrote to Theodoras, the brother of Proteas, 'Send me your singing-girl, unless you love her yourself, and I will give you ten talents;' and when Antipatridas, one of his companions, came to revel with him, bringing with him a female harper, he fancied the girl not a little, and asked Antipatridas if he cared very much about her. And when he replied that he did immensely, Alexander said, 'Plague take you,' but nevertheless abstained from touching the girl.
Alexander said that he disbelieved those who called him a god chiefly in regard to sleep and the sexual delight, for in both those things he was more ignoble and emotional than in other respects.
Was it of fortune that Alexander the son of Philip not only himself abstained from the captive women, but punished others that outraged them?
On another occasion Cassander forced Python, beloved by Evius the flute-player , ** to kiss him, and Alexander, seeing that Evius was vexed, leapt up in anger against Cassander, exclaiming "It isn't allowable even to fall in love with anybody, because of you and people like you."